BY RABBI BEN NEWMAN
Scene 1
A road in ancient Persia. Mordechai and Hadassah stand in the middle of the stage.
Mordechai: We need to hurry:
Hadassah: Why, cousin?
Mordechai: Because the line to see the king will be very long. If we don’t leave soon, we won’t find a good spot. This could be the difference between waiting hours and waiting days. I've been working on this invention for years, you know, and if the king is too tired when I show it to him, he might not buy it.
Hadassah: Well I guess we better get a move on. And which way to the palace?
Mordechai: This way!
Mordecai and Hadassah link hands and sing together:
We're on the road to the palace
The palace of Achashverosh
I have this great invention
the king will be so impressed
We’ll get some recognition
and our lives will stop being a mess…
[A Dalek appears in the background.]
Dalek: EXTERMINATE… EST….HER!
ROLL DOCTOR WHO THEME SONG
Scene 2
DOCTOR: Right then, Vered Goldberg, you tell me. Where do you want to go? Backwards or forwards in time. It's your choice. What's it going to be?
VERED: Backwards.
DOCTOR: How far?
VERED: One hundred years.
(A few seconds of travel.)
DOCTOR: There you go. Step outside those doors, it's 1915.
VERED: You're kidding.
DOCTOR: That's a bit boring, though. Do you want to go further?
VERED: Fine by me.
DOCTOR: One thousand years in the past. Step outside, it's the year 1015-- the middle ages!
VERED: You think you're so impressive.
DOCTOR: I am so impressive.
VERED: You wish.
DOCTOR: Right then, you asked for it. I know exactly where to go. Hold on!
(The Tardis hums.)
VERED: Where are we? What's out there?
DOCTOR: Its around 480 BCE-- Ancient Persia. The kingdom of Achashverosh.
VERED: What’s here?
DOCTOR: Didn’t you say you wanted to meet some of the important Jewish women in history?
VERED: Yeah?
DOCTOR: Haven’t you heard the story of Purim?
VERED: Yeah?
DOCTOR: Well that’s where we are.
VERED: You mean I might meet Queen Esther?
DOCTOR: That was kind of my point, Vered!
VERED: Oh, how exciting! What do they wear in ancient Persia anyway?
Scene 3
A bunch of people, including Mordechai and Hadassah, standing on a line.
Parthia: How long do you think we’ve been waiting here?
Saris: Oh about twelve hours.
Parthia: How do you know?
Saris: Well, when we first got here the sun was on that side of the tree [points to tree], and now its on the opposite side. About twelve hours.
Parthia: But we haven’t moved more than a couple of feet!
Saris: Well, I guess a lot of people want to see the king.
Parthia: I guess so. [Reaches into his pocket pulls out some food. Offers some to Saris] Hungry?
Saris: Nah. Oh! Wait! Hold on…. I think the line’s about to move. Get ready……
Parthia: [straightens his hat, looks forward determinedly] Ok…. I’m ready….
Saris: On the count of three… One….
Parthia: Two….
Saris: Three!
[They each take one step forward.]
Parthia: Well, that was exciting.
Hadassah: [Standing behind them in line with Mordechai. Speaking to Persians 1 and 2] Really? Exciting? We’ve been standing in a line all day! How could that possibly be exciting to you?
Parthia: Hey, lay off lady, we’re excited to see the king!
Hadassah: But why?
Saris: Why what?
Hadassah: Why did you come to see him?
Parthia: Very interesting story, that.
Saris: Yes, very interesting.
Hadassah: Nu?
Parthia: Well-- me and Saris here, we’re neighbors, and we both have apple orchards.
Saris: And a couple of weeks ago, we both found a bunch of apples sitting right on the line between our two properties.
Parthia: And Saris here claimed the apples belong to him, and I said they were mine.
Saris: And instead of fighting about it, we decided to bring our question to the king.
Hadassah: But, haven’t the apples moulded by now?
Parthia: Yeah, we suppose, but we already spent so much time to get here and in this line that we figured it would have made this whole thing a waste of time if we didn’t get to see the king in the end.
Hadassah: But why? Why would you still be waiting here to see the king if the apples are not there anymore anyway?
Saris: We don’t know, but we figured by the time we get to the front of this line we’d figure something out. . You see, my friend Parthia here? [points to Parthia] His family has been stealing my families apples for years.
Parthia: [Holding out his hand] And we figure if the king tells us who was right with the whole apple thing, then we could just like… move on, and our families could be friends.
Saris: That’s our dream, what’s yours?
Mordechai: I invented something that I think is truly great, that will revolutionize everything. I would like to show it to my king so he can make them for the entire nation.
Parthia: What is it? What’s your amazing invention?
Mordechai: I can’t tell you what it is, but I can tell you that it has everything to do with the number three. And, that I have one in my pocket right now… [pats his pocket, grins, and winks].
Hadassah: [ to Mordecai] There must be more than this to life for me. What’s a young Jewish orphan to do in Persia?
Mordecai: You’re not an orphan, Hadassah, I’m your cousin and I’m here for you, thick or thin. And you’re here to support me! My invention will make me famous! There’s nothing more important than following your dreams. And who knows, while you’re helping me follow my dream, maybe a dream will come true for you as well.
Hadassah: [Looking around at the boring line]
But… Cousin Mordy, all I’m dreaming of is getting off of this fahrshtinkener line!
Hadassah sings the first verse of Somewhere Over the Rainbow….
Saris: Oh look, the line is moving again.
[Mazda who has been standing silently in the line in front of Saris steps forward a step. He reaches the bimah where the dalek statues are sitting there inconspicuously]
Mazda: [turning towards the others and touching one of the Daleks]
Hey Look! What’s this.
Dalek: SCANNING SUBJECT…….
PERSIAN…….
DESIGNATION….
MAZDA….
NOT THE TARGET….
IRRELEVANT BEING….
EXTERMINATE…..
[Mazda, whose hand is still on the Dalek, looks as if he is electrified by the Dalek and passes out.]
[Hadassah comes forward.]
Hadassah: Help! Someone help! This man is hurt! He needs a doctor! Is there a Doctor in the house?
[From offstage, in steps the Doctor and Vered.]
The Doctor: Did someone call for a doctor?
Scene 4:
Hadassah: [To the Doctor] Yes. This man is hurt. He needs a doctor. Are you a doctor.
The Doctor: Of sorts.
Hadassah: What do you mean? What kind of Doctor are you, are you a doctor of medicine?
The Doctor: I am a doctor of everything. In fact, that’s my name, I’m the doctor, pleased to meet you, and this is Vered, my erstwhile companion.
[Vered waves.]
Vered: Hello.
Hadassah: I’m Hadassah. This man needs help. [points to Mazda]. Can you help him, Doctor?
The Doctor: [Doctor looks around with his sonic screwdriver and discovers the Daleks.] Yes, Hadassah, I think I can help you.
Vered: [looking at one of the Daleks but not touching] Doctor, are these what I think they are?
The Doctor: Yes, Vered. Daleks, little mini Daleks. Which begs the question though.
Vered: What question is that, Doctor?
The Doctor: Why are they here in Ancient Persia?
[Dalek comes to life]
Daleks: WE DETECT….
THE…
DOCTOR….
DOCTOR
EXPLAIN YOUR PRESENCE.
The Doctor: Explain your presence, little, mini-Dalek!
[Holds up sonic screwdriver.]
Daleks: WE HAVE BEEN SENT BACK IN TIME BY DALEK COMMAND TO EX---TER---MI---NATE…
The Doctor: You have been sent back to exterminate who? Who?--- you dumb empty Dalek!
Dalek:
WE HAVE BEEN SENT TO ELIMINATE THE VECTOR DESIGNATED EST….HER THE QUEEN.
SARIS: Uhm…. hey… If I could interject?
The Doctor: Yes?
Saris: The Queen’s name isn’t Est--her, its Vashti.
The Doctor: [To Vered.] Interesting. Seems we’ve come back before the book of Esther.
Vered: So when are we?
The Doctor: It would seem that we have travelled back to just before the incidents of the book of Esther.
Vered: So I won’t get to meet her?
The Doctor: We shall see. But first, [turns to the Dalek]--- As you can see, there are no Esthers here. [Looks at everyone on the line.] Anyone here named Esther?
Everyone on Line including Hadassah: No. Nope. Nope…..
The Doctor: So you see, my new dalek friend, it would seem that you have come back too early.
Dalek: YOU ARE WRONG, DOCTOR
WE ARE HERE TO ELIMINATE THE THREAT BEFORE IT CAN ELIMINATE HAMAN AND THE AMALEKITES
IF HAMAN AND THE AMALEKITES TAKE CONTROL OF PERSIA
THEY WILL CONTROL THE WORLD
AND SINCE THE DALEKS CONTROL THE AMALEKITES
THE DALEKS WILL CONTROL THE WORLD!
SCANNING FOR ESTHER THE QUEEN
….
SEARCHING HISTORY DATABASES…..
ESTHER THE QUEEN FOUND….
DESIGNATION HADASSAH IS ESTHER THE QUEEN
…. EX...TERMM...I….NATE….
The Doctor: [The Doctor turns to Hadassah] GET DOWN!
[The Doctor takes out his sonic screwdriver, and disables both Daleks with one swipe.]
Problem solved. And Vered?
Vered: Yes Doctor?
The Doctor: You got to meet Esther afterall.
Hadassah: My name isn’t Esther, but, I WAS thinking of a change.
[Dalphon enters.]
Dalphon: I am the second born son of Haman. Head of the line’s guard.
What is wrong with this man? [pointing to Mazda who is still on the ground but not dead though hurt.]
Hadassah: He just touched that statue, and then he passed out.
Dalphon: Perhaps I can be of assistance. [he picks up Mazda, and someone takes him off stage].
Thank you, young girl. You were very helpful. What is your name?
Hadassah/Esther: Esther. My name is Esther. [Holds out her hand.]
Dalphon: Nice to meet you Esther. You know the King is holding a contest to find his new Queen. Perhaps you’d be interested in being bumped up to the front of the line?
Esther: Oh! That would be wonderful. But can my cousin Mordy come?
Dalphon: Only if he joins the king’s guard.
Mordechai: I guess it would get me closer to the king so I can show him my invention, the The Three Pointed Cookie! [Takes out a Hamantasch] Why do cookies have to be round? Why not triangular? Its genius, I’m telling ya, genius.
I call it the Mordytash!
Dalphon: [Taking cookie, takes a bite] Not bad. But I think you’ll have to work on that name. How about you name it after my dad, Haman?
Saris: And what about us? Who’s gonna help us with our apples?
Esther: Forget your apples! What’s important is each other. Just agree that the apple thing is in the past, and your families can move on! Hasn’t seeing what happened today enough to make you both realize that?
Saris and Parthia:
I suppose you’re right.
[Saris and Parthia leave the line and walk off the stage].
[The Doctor turns to Vered]
The Doctor: Well, I guess our job is done here. Why don’t you say goodbye to your hero, Vered.
[Vered turns and shakes Esther’s hand]
Vered: Its been very nice to meet you.
Esther: You as well, though we didn’t really speak much….
Scene 5
[Back in the TARDIS]
The Doctor: [Hands Vered a glass of something] Here. Drink. You saved the Jewish people today.
Vered: [taking the glass] And who knew we’d find out where hamantashen really came from. [hands the doctor a hamantash.]
The Doctor: So where do you want to go next?
Vered: How about ancient Egypt to meet Miriam?
The Doctor: Sounds like a plan.
ROLL CLOSING MUSIC.
